Sexual Assault and You

Sexual Assault is an under-reported, under-recognized problem, especially for male victims. Rape is a heinous act, and is the most severe form of assault. Sexual assault is not limited to college campuses or to female victims. Victims can be any age, in any walk of life. Perpetrators are not necessarily stereotypical. Fortunately, our leaders of tomorrow are becoming better prepared to handle personal crisis situations such as stalking and sexual assault because of the strong messages delivered by educators. The general public needs to be better informed about the sad facts of manipulating individuals who commit these offenses, and learn to recognize these situations as harmful.


We want everyone to grow up with a healthy attitude about sex and relationships. We encourage people to be responsible partners and not be forced into any sexual situation they do not fully want or are capable of responding to appropriately. Likewise, initiating casual sex is likely to to have negative unintended consequences.

 Sex is not love. It takes a certain level of maturity to begin/sustain any sexual activity in a responsible way. If you are not sure, the answer is NO. If you act impulsively in this area of your life, there is help available. Caring people develop into loving partners and don’t force sex.


Sexual assault is abuse. Sexual assault is a crime.


Please read below for an excerpt from the UW Madison Health Service Page. Link to specific page and resources
UW Madison Health Services-For Male Victims
http://www.uhs.wisc.edu/display_story.jsp?id=531&cat_id=170







For Male Victims of Sexual Assault

According to the Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault, as many as one in four males will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. These numbers may sound startling because the problem of sexual assault against males isn't discussed very often.



Sexual assault against males happens in different ways, but it means any form of unwanted sexual contact obtained without consent and/or obtained through the use of force, threat of force, intimidation, or coercion. It can range from unwanted sexual contact over the clothes, like touching someone's buttocks or genitals, to rape. Some males are assaulted by a stranger or a group of strangers, while others are assaulted by someone they know. Males can be sexually assaulted by women, but most often they are sexually assaulted by other males.



It is important to remember that "consent" means informed, freely and actively given, and mutually understood permission and agreement.



No matter how it occurs, sexual assault is a violation of a male's body and his free will, and it can have lasting emotional consequences.



Myth vs. reality

There are many mistaken beliefs about the sexual assault of males.



1. Males can't be sexually assaulted. Any man can be sexually assaulted regardless of size, strength, appearance, or sexual orientation.

2. Gay males are more likely to be assaulted. Heterosexual, gay, and bisexual males are equally likely to be sexually assaulted. Regardless of a male's sexual orientation, a sexual assault is never his fault.

3. Gay males are more likely to sexually assault other males. According to the Wisconsin Coalition against Sexual Assault Fact Sheet, most males who sexually assault other males identify themselves as heterosexual. This fact helps to highlight the reality that sexual assault is about violence, anger, and control over another person, not lust or sexual attraction.


4. Males cannot be sexually assaulted by women. Males can be sexually assaulted by women. Many people have difficulty understanding how a female could sexually assault a male. It may help to remember that sexual assault does not always involve penetration, but includes any unwanted contact, such as being grabbed, fondled, groped, or kissed.

5. Erection or ejaculation during a sexual assault means the male being assaulted "really wanted it" or gave consent.

These physiological responses may result from mere physical contact or even extreme stress. They do not imply that the male wanted or enjoyed the assault and do not indicate anything about the male's sexual orientation. If a perpetrator is aware of how these responses can confuse a victim of sexual assault, they may manipulate their victims to the point of erection or ejaculation to increase their feelings of control and to discourage reporting of the crime.



Unique issues faced by male victims/survivors

The perception that "men can't be sexually assaulted" because a "real man" can protect himself may cause males to feel invulnerable to sexual assault. It may also intensify feelings of isolation and shame after an assault occurs. Male victims/survivors often question whether they deserved or wanted to be sexually assaulted, because they feel that they failed to prevent the assault. Some male victims/survivors question their sexual orientation.



Feelings of guilt, shame, and anger may lead to self-destructive behavior, including increased alcohol or other drug use, increased aggressiveness, and withdrawal from close relationships with friends and partner. After being sexually assaulted, male survivors may experience difficulties with intimacy, such as trusting people, exploring new relationships, or enjoying sexual activity (if choosing to be sexually active). All victims/survivors need to understand that recovery may take time. They need to have patience with themselves and resist the pressure to be sexually active before they are ready.



For heterosexual males who have been assaulted by males, sexual assault may cause them to question or be confused about their sexuality. Unfortunately, many people have distorted ideas about male victims/survivors of sexual assault. For example, many people believe that gay males are more likely to be sexually assaulted. Perpetrators often accuse victims/survivors of enjoying the sexual assault, leading some victims/survivors to question their own experiences or feelings. In fact, being sexually assaulted has nothing to do with one's sexual orientation in the past, present, or future. People do not "become gay" as a result of being sexually assaulted.



Sexual assault can lead gay males to attach feelings of self-blame and self-loathing to their sexual orientation. Sexual assault may lead a gay male to believe he somehow "deserved it," or that he was "paying the price" for his sexual orientation. Ignorance or intolerance from those who blame the victim/survivor can reinforce this belief.



Gay males may also hesitate to report a sexual assault due to fears of blame, disbelief, or intolerance by police or medical personnel. As a result gay males may be deprived of legal protection and necessary medical care following an assault.



Some sexual assaults of males are actually forms of gay-bashing, motivated by fear and hatred of homosexuality. In these cases, perpetrators may verbally abuse their victims and imply that the victim deserved to be sexually assaulted. It's important to remember that sexual assault is an act of violence, power, and control and that no one deserves it.


Please see the link from Univeristy Of Wisconsin Madison Health Service for these topics and more

UW Madison Health Services-  For Male Victims

What To Do If You've Been Drugged

For Family and Friends of Victims/Survivors

Common Feelings After Being Sexually Assaulted

Recovering from Sexual Assault is a Process

What to Do after a Sexual Assault

Alcohol and Drug-facilitated Sexual Assault

Resources for Victims of Sexual Assault, Dating/Domestic Violence, or Stalking

Blast to the Past...Part 2 Growing up with TV

There are definitely great moments in my life that occurred on TV. For me, some of them were in B&W…President Kennedy getting shot, Perry Mason and Alfred Hitchcock. But most of my most memorable TV moments were in color, like the US landing on the moon.

 In the sixties, we kids would gather around the TV for The Beatles, The Green Hornet, Batman, and the Monkees at the designated time. We would act along, singing with our tennis rackets and POWing each other with punches. The seventies weren’t so clear, but I remember getting into watching great sports like the Celtics vs the Lakers, pitcher Tom Seaver and Monday Night Football with Howard Cosell. I remember watching golf tournaments with the camera following the ball into the sky and the announcers whispering. I recall watching the Brady Bunch, the Partridge Family and Bewitched with more than a casual interest.

In the early 80’s I was living in a house with other college students and we had cable. We spent tons of time watching MTV and rocking out loud having the time of our lives. I  also was personally was mesmerized by the Weather Channel. In 90’s we were married a couple of years and started a family of our own. Barney, The Land Before Time, and Disney creations dominated the decade. But these were mainly videos, and the TV was on with parenting in mind. Computer games became important learning and entertainment tools.

This century, we TiVo what we want to watch so we can skip through commercials and cut the viewing time by 1/3. We watch what we want to watch whenever we want to watch it. We don’t go to the video store anymore. We use Netflix and PPV. We have our gaming consoles and laptops and smart phones and other devices to tune us in. It is truly an instant gratification overload. It will be interesting to see how this next generation copes with the hand they were dealt.

But, back to the point of this post. The largest single moment I’ve seen on TV was 9/11/01. We were doing major home remodeling, and Tim was at our house, as usual, working. I turned on CNN for morning news. The regular reporting got interrupted by the plane crashing into the WTC tower. The questions and horror and magnitude were suddenly and completely solidified when the second plane ran into the second tower. I called for Tim and we watched CNN all day in absolute disbelief. The collapsing towers must have been thunderous.

I have been to ground zero and it is an inexplicable sensation you get there. It is so huge, so deep, so sad. I know that we can’t go back to the”good old days” but I am forever optimistic, partly because of those messages that were brought to me through TV early in my life. We were soothed by these shows and I never felt at the time the ominous undertones that MAD Men confronts so bravely. I know it was a gift to grow up when and where I did. I will never forget how precious and fragile life is because I have seen how quickly it can be taken away.

Raw Milk: Not So Controversial for Us

Milk is a near perfect food and it is natural. It can be transformed into endless varieties of ice cream, yogurt and cheese, to name a few yummy examples. Everybody should drink plenty of milk (or milk substitute if there are dietary restrictions to consider). It has a short shelf life because it is rich medium that bacteria thrive in.

Advocates for raw milk have gained momentum and they can be quite vocal. They expound its virtues as a healing elixir and want to be able to buy it at the local grocery.

It is true that some nutrients could be lost in the pasteurizing process and that dairy farms are quite a bit cleaner in their milking operations compared to past years. The sanitary modern milking parlors also lessen the likelihood of introducing pathogenic gram positives such as Staphylococcus aureus or even enteric bacteria. Local farmers selling raw milk may likely have smaller dairy operations than the typical neighbor farm that sells milk for income. Each produces a set of common and unique variables that have to be addressed on a daily basis to ensure consumers don’t get sick. It is a personal choice.

The fact remains that raw milk sold from animals that produce it carries a giant risk for spreading mycobacteria and Brucella, as well as other pathogens, if conditions are right. Disease-causing mycobacteria and Brucella species need a warm-blooded animal host to produce disease. But the bacteria will thrive in refrigerated temperatures. These pathogens are highly transmissible from cows, goats, pigs and other livestock to humans. In fact, Tuberculosis and Brucellosis are highly contagious in raw milk and soft cheeses.

Non-pasteurized milk is absolutely not safe for children. Their bodies are not immunocompetant enough to withstand the insult. Adults can get very sick also. Most often, the bacterial count is low enough that the body automatically attacks the invaders, and you never knew there was a fight. Treatment for TB takes approximately 9 months in many cases, and that is after the many months that it takes to get established in the body and produce symptoms. Brucellosis is not inherently treatable and is likely to become a chronic condition.

A few items to consider:

1. Protect your child and buy them pasteurized milk. Drink milk with them at meals and make it an excellent lifelong habit.

2. Infants should be nursed, if possible. Passive immunity is passed onto babies in this way until the baby starts to produce his own antibodies and other cellular defenses.

3. If you must drink raw milk (and it is legal to sell it in 22 states), go directly to the farm where it is produced. Look for high standards of cleanliness.

4. At the farm, ask about milking methods. There should be minimum time and steps to get milk into the bottle. The least amount of handling is better.

5. Documentation is a key to recognizing and ensuring the best practices are being followed. Regulations vary, and it not a bad idea to get familiar with them to know if your milk producer has what it takes to supply a healthy product for your family.

The Ticket Puncher

James Lehman PhD is creator of the “Total Transformation”. He deals a lot with troubled teen behavior and also coaches effective parenting techniques. His approach is direct and based on the idea that it is easier to change your behavior than your attitude. Once you’ve started to change behavior, the attitude will soon follow. He advises parents not to get too caught up in a teen’s attitude and that it will take focused work on both the part of the parent and child. If you haven’t heard of his program, I assure you that it isn’t a joke, and the techniques actually do work. I was hesitant because it promised to get the parent back in control of the bad situation in one minute or less. He gives lots of tidbits or “tools” that parents can use in a pinch. Mainly, it is a structured way of handling out of control behavior for the long-term. Website: http://www.empoweringparents.com/

Blast to the Past, Introduction

I can say that I had a great childhood. It wasn't that I had an overly charmed life. I was constantly at the bottom of the food chain in our family. However, I came through it feeling totally able to take care of myself. I was lucky in love and had good enough sense and grades to go for what I wanted. I was athletic, but small, which was advantageous in certain respects...easier to do gymnastics, good for sneaking into the drive-in, appreciated for the tiny footprint in gardening jobs, etc. I was always surrounded by a wealth of diverse people in the communities my parents chose to live in. For that, I will always be grateful

 We travelled a lot as a family, in the car. I was the one who always got carsick. I got to sit in the front a lot between Mom and Dad because of this.  It was a curse and a blessing because Mom smoked  occasionally and that probably made me more nauseous. Jammed in the front was definitely better than being jammed in the back of the station wagon. 6 kids plus 1 yellow lab and 2 parents didn't leave a whole lot of room for  other stuff. One time I was sitting next to a window and I was holding my stuffed dog Spot out, to let him catch some air as we drove down the highway.  I accidently let go and watched in horror as he flew into a cornfield and disappeared.  My dad would not stop.  It was the only stuffed animal I had and now he was gone.

We drove to California from Iowa and Dad talked about the orange grove that was just across from our house. By the time we got there, that orange grove had been plowed under for urban development.  Disappointing yes, and a signal for things to come. But Claremont was, and still is, a magical beautiful place and not just because Disneyland was not that far away. We lived in a scenic friendly spot with great weather, just far enough away from pollution to forget about it.

So with this short  post, I'm starting a mini series to celebrate childhood memories and the lessons learned.

Up your °F

Today has started off kind of rocky.
We’re heading into our 23nd year of marriage.

How do you keep things fresh and tight?

It’s a challenge, especially if there's been some trouble underfoot, and after 22 years, there’s going to be some separation. After all, it’s the growing and changing that we each do that keeps us interesting. Yet, there needs to be some sort of anchor at home to keep each other from washing, or merely floating, away. Who or what is the anchor? Can you switch roles? What guides you through each day? The power struggles that tend to undermine rather than reinforce relationships are the kinds that make us inflexible as partners.

Inflexibility means B-O-R-I-N-G.

Inflexibility means not accepting the other’s viewpoint...at least consider the idea.

Inflexibility makes us old before our time. Give the other the benefit of the doubt that they know how to live their life.

So, in my humble opinion, the answer is personal behavior!

Make amends.

Be appreciative.
Be reciprocal if positive.
Don’t make it personal if it’s negative.

These are easier said than done, but if it’s said, it can be done.
Get started right away… make up passionately (up your°F) and move on energetically!

Here’s to Us! Love you Al

Shedding Light on the Placebo Effect

I’m a trained scientist and researcher. I followed this path because I have always been the curious type and I’ve found that there’s always new ways to look at the same question. I like the challenge of simultaneously being independent, analytical and objective. I enjoy diversity in thinking, but expect people to behave reasonably. As a mom, one way I’ve shared my love of learning and discovery is by doing home science experiments with the kids. This is a great family activity that can be tailored for any age and any degree of interest. Ask the questions, get answers. Dissect the results. The insight that is gained from the new perspective can be invaluable. That’s why we should strive to listen, not just talk.


Recently and inadvertently, I was involved in situation that illuminated the placebo effect for me. Everyone knows the placebo effect is based on a belief that something is going to produce an effect, but that the something is not capable of actually producing that effect. The effect occurs because the person assumes that is what is supposed to happen. And that is what happens…at least initially. The classic example is that the doctor gives you a pill to cure an ailment and you take it and you get better. The doctor knows the pill contains only sugar or some inert ingredient but the patient thinks it’s a remedy. The patient feels better for taking it. Case closed. Next!! More rigorous studies involve groups of patients, some getting actual drugs, some getting placebo. Neither the doctor nor patient knows who is getting placebo. This is the classic “double blind” study which is designed to minimize the assumption factor for both the doctor and the patient.

The Learning Curve in Social Media

I'm excited to be participating in Social Media success Summit 2010 during May. I'm looking forward to learning a lot from the professionals and incorporating what I learn back into this website for sharing!

Spring Fever and Blastomycosis

When we lived up in Eagle River (a great town with great people) springtime meant freedom to get outside without worrying about the cold temperatures and snow. This of course, meant that your pets, too, could enjoy the fresh air and do their thing outside. We were heavy into boating and fishing and there was always a landscaping project going on.

Up north, all residents are keenly aware of a fungus that lives in the soil. It seemed that everyone you knew had a story of how their dog or their cousin came down with blastomycosis. I wondered how I never got it, as I was always digging in the dirt, raking leaves or blowing pinecones off the drive so the kids could ride their bikes or draw with chalk. I was sure that if a lab test was available that I would have had a measureable titer.

But as it was, our dog came down with symptoms…fever (104 degrees rectally), cough, lethargic, and no appetite at all. Blasto is usually inhaled and the lungs are infected first. It can also enter the body through abrasions in the skin. It always is a slow grower that tends to become systemic and life-threatening. The treatment of choice was an anti-fungal known as amphotericin, also known as ampho-terrible because if the blasto didn’t kill you, the amphotericin would by shutting down the liver. When the jaundice appears in the eyes of your beloved pet, things are really going downhill. It means that even 3 times /week IV drip at the vet isn’t enough. That’s the point where we were at, the moment of decision on how to mercifully let our dog go.

The Top of the World

 

The shake up and fallout of the healthcare legislation, as well as the enormous financial and economic realities of our times are are beginning to be appreciated. I know - I have been in shock for a few weeks also! But as Tiger tees off at Augusta today ~ 1:40, I am getting charged by his recovery! We wish him and his family the very best of luck always (not that we are acquainted, mind you). We're rooting for you all! Now get there and play! We want you to do what you do best.

Whatever stage you are in your life, realize that what you take into your body and what you expect out of your body are determined by you. It begins with consciously taking stock of yourself. Start to notice your diet, your activity level, your breathing, your posture. For me, I can get to this place fastest by stretching.  Yoga works well daily, if you can do it. So does golf, particularly if you've got a gift for it. I going to be trying to appreciate my golf gift more this year. We've been out twice this year, but today it snowed. Mother Nature is truly awesome!!

All in all, I hope this new phase in medicine will lead to an "extreme transcendental makeover" for our culture and us as individuals. Maybe this will be the greatest time for men. We need all of them to start behaving like role models for us again. Let's enable them to show their leadership skills. Encourage them to build on good foundations. Give each other  enough personal space and expect professionalism at work and be  loving parents at home. Turn off the automatic pilot and actually connect with people you care about. Hooray! Turn off the TV, go have fun and meet some people. Beat your drum, but then put it away till tomorrow. Have a good day!

Healthcare, Technology & Government 2.0: REC and State-Level HIE Funding

Please see the link below to a blog I follow from Brain Ahier. It contains a Very Interesting Video and typiclly insightful, newsworthy  trending topics in US healthcare policy. It's also got a twitter feed for you twitter fans.Healthcare, Technology & Government 2.0: REC and State-Level HIE Funding

Give Heathcare Back to the Doctors

When you watch someone who is talented at what they do, sometimes it is natural to believe that a gift comes easily and requires no maintenance. Of course you know that they must do some work, but you probably think that they have it easy.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I believe that the easier it looks to outsiders, the more difficult it probably actually is to perform that way. If someone is consistently good it is because they work at it. In this same way, a person with little recognized natural talent can become proficient. That’s what America is about.

In the world of medicine and healthcare, you want your personal physician to have the natural ability to be a good diagnostician. This means that he(or she) can read the signs that point to a proper diagnosis. This ability to define the problem correctly is at the heart of good medical care. Additionally, you need your physician to be able to draw on experience, to be able to learn new skills, and maybe most importantly, be able to deliver individualized care.

Poly-Pharmacy: A Different Perspective

As a physician, I am constantly confronted by patients that tell me they don't want to take any medication. I fully understand that, but what is a physician supposed to do when a patient is already on two medicines for their blood pressure and it is still too high? The main two options are to add another medication or have the patient accept the risk of uncontrolled hypertension. The sad fact is that the average number of meds that a patient requires to adequately control their blood pressure is 2.8. Throw in some diabetes and a cholesterol problem (risk factors tend to cluster in patients), and the pill burden on a patient becomes quite substantial. There is a third option, however. It's called lifestyle choices, yet very few patients chose to take the personal responsibility required to control their blood pressure, diabetes and hyperlipidemia without medications. This is a huge issue. Despite gains, cardiovascular disease remains the number one killer in the US, and it is largely preventable.

Health Handle

Dear Informed Patient,

Welcome to a new era in Healthcare! Like or not, these times are a-changing. To this end, I join my husband Dr. Al (Family Practice) and heartily embark on a project to help in the redefining process.

You are responsible for your own health. The doctors you choose guide you. There are as many different personalities in physicians as anyone else. Finding a healthcare provider that suits your needs can be daunting, yet there are many who can fulfill this role for you. You have a responsibility to do what you can on your on, and expect expert advice and treatment for questions and ailments. Some things you can do on your own include: finding humor in life's circumstances, pursuing moderation in lifestyle, promoting active and healthy habits for children, paying attention to family matters, keeping good medical records, following doctors instructions, and keeping your vaccinations current. And don't forget to revitalize yourself in some way everyday. Life is just too short and stress is ubiquitous.

For example, if you care at all about your health, you should not smoke. It can be very difficult to quit because it is a habit and nicotine is addictive. Attack the issue as two separate problems. For instance, attack the habit of having a smoke during a work break by chewing gum instead. The chemical dependence you may have is another matter, but solvable as well. Replacing the bad habits with a good ones will ease the transition. Challenges are never easy, but it will be worth it. If you can't get it together enough on your own, enlist help and try to stay positive. You may need professional advice. Go seek it if necessary. Keep a journal, diary or blog of the ups and downs and learn from it.

In this way, you begin to become an informed patient. You have documented problem solving, which may be necessary for insurance purposes in the future. For now, it is a learning tool. You have taught yourself that you can be in control of an aspect of your life which controlled you in the past. Now move on to the next hurdle. If you're a smoker, you may have to rejump the same hurdle 100 or more times. Who knows? You and your loved ones will still be better off for it. And if you succeeded once, next time could be easier. The point is that it is up to you.

You, the patient, are a client. For good outcomes to be possible, know what you and your doctor are trying to achieve. The informed patient can expect to play a large role in their health and be better prepared for instances of illness and recovery. We feel that this shared accountability is on the horizon and will the standard of care. Well managed records with client ability to review their own history will lead to better health overall and lower medical costs because this same informed patient will be able to review their records easily, follow their progress, even spot a transcription error.

cj

Disclaimer:
Lastly, this is a journal. Journals are blogs. Blogs are opinions. We will be sharing some of our own thoughts, other blogs, and linking some resources that we enjoy and and hope will be of interest, comfort and/help to you. Nothing published here supercedes individual advice or treatment plans from your personal healthcare providers. It is not meant as a substitute for any interaction deemed to be medically relevant. Likewise, misusing any content, by any means, is potentially subject to lawful intervention. Be responsible for your time online.